basically, just wanna recap my fri.

guides farewell. national day celebrations. guides farewell was bitter sweet as all farewells are. when i heard all the speeches, i was quite touched. especially those whom i've really watched grow all the way from sec 1 to sec 4. promotion was done as well and i'd like to just wish all the new leaders all the best. especially to the new CL, Tong Tong, may you work well with the company. was disappointed that my sister didn't get promoted but i know that Hannah will do a good job. and the good thing is that no one switched patrols and my sister is okay with it... so... liddat lor. hope Jolene will do Mynah proud as well.

anyway, i know it's not good to keep on feeling depressed and sad about things and facts that can't be changed. but i really can't help it. it didn't help that my mum told me something at the wrong time today. it's enough that i was feeling depressed but she just had to highlight something that made me feel all the more inferior. Quek's right in saying that even though you've said sorry, the hurt will still be there. and i really couldn't believe my mum of all people would tell me that. well done, mum. well done. actually, i couldn't help feeling that if she had said that at another time, i would have laughed it off. but not now.

not when i'm painfully aware of myself and everyone around me.

i try to stop thinking about it. and i don't even know why it's making me so sad. perhaps it's because there's really no hope now. and because i spent so much time thinking about it. and now... it really is nothing.